I’ve been staring at these photos of Penn Cove, taken August 8, 1970 by photojournalist Wallie Funk, courtesy Western Washington University.

53 years ago today.

I’ve been staring at these images for three days now. I can’t stop. I know it’s impossible to know what’s going through an orca’s mind at a point like this. But I’ve been relying on my human thoughts and emotions, anthropomorphizing in my mind the trauma they must have been experiencing. I’ve seen first hand numerous animals that have undergone trauma – human abuse, fires, attacks by other animals.

The term “humane” leaves my mind when I see these images. These aren’t scientists. These are fisherman. These are hunters. This is a big game hunt.

My father was a Sargent in the United States Marine Corps. He served in Vietnam. He didn’t do good things while he was there. And it haunted him. And every Fourth of July, he would spend the day from Noon until 7 am the following morning curled up in the bathtub with a pillow. And sometimes a gun. Because the fire crackers and the fireworks would set him back to a time he regretted living.

The more I stare at these photos, the more I start to correlate with something Dr. Lori Marino, President of the Whale Sanctuary Project, told me years ago – that the biggest part of a captive orca’s trauma is the moment it is ripped away from its mother.

I stare at these photos and I see nets, nets creating archaic sea pens. And I think it’s not bad enough that she’s being kept in a pool that’s continuing to fall apart while she waits for those who control her to figure out how to get her home, because I think about how the plan is to return her to nets. If Dr. Marino was right, the most traumatic event in Tokitae’s life took place in a sea pen.

I stare for hours at these photos. I think of my father and I worry that returning her to a netted environment, to a sea pen, may trigger traumatic memories and PTSD. And I hope to my God and to the Lummi Ancestors that Friends of Toki has a plan for dealing with that, something better than medication, pillows, a bathtub, and a gun.